soul searching

We meet again blog world. It has been quite some time now since I have written anything. I like to say it was writer's block; makes me feel more official.
The past year has been a little bit of a whirlwind. Packed up my entire life and drove across the country to LA only to turn around and come back to Indiana after a day. Made new friends when I returned. Wasn't so much of a hermit anymore. Met new guys and went on dates. Changed my position at work. All in all, I was almost a completely different person.
At the time, everything seemed to be great. I loved always having plans. There was always someone to turn to if I had any issues. However, I realized after a few months that it was spinning out of control. An abundance of money was spent on alcohol, new clothes, etc. Every weekend and sometimes during the week, nights were planned with friends or family; no catch up time. I was wearing myself thin. My cursing was worse than it had been before, which is hard to comprehend. Somehow what used to be important just wasn't as important anymore.
It took one bad choice to really make me stop and reevaluate the direction that my life was heading.Whenever I need some guidance, I pull up my bible app and look at the verse of the day. "What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" Mark 8:36. What good is it for me to have great responsibility at work only to be constantly stressed? What good is it for me to have lots of friends only to stretch my wallet and well being in order to always hang out with them? What good is it to date all these different men only to feel worse after they seem to be all wrong? What good is it to always have plans only to lose sight of who I am and what I stand for?
Sometimes it takes getting off track, making mistakes to remember what it is that we truly want in life. What is truly important. Who we are and ultimately want to be. Now my focus is not on what my plans are next weekend. Nor on where the guy I have been looking for is. My focus is on bettering myself and preparing for whatever opportunities may lie ahead.