hopes for a good ending...

During the week, every day starts off the same. Snooze the alarm as many times as you can until you absolutely have to awaken. Check all social media before you finally force yourself out of that seemingly small piece of heaven. Usually this part of the day is rather routine. So much so that you probably do everything without any thought or hesitation. Then comes the unpredictable...work.
Some days it may be uneventful and just another 8 to 5. Others it may be uplifting; you did something right or changed someone's life. But on the worst days it is absolutely draining. You forgot to do something and have double the workload; you have to deal with a disgruntled customer or employee; you work your tail off without recognition. Oh you know what I am talking about. Now why is it that out of all of these, I seem to focus on the worst days? Allowing it to trump all the good moments previously encountered.
In life, I think it is much easier for us to complain rather than change. To blame things on others than ourselves. It is easier to ingest the negative than exude the positive. The roads to happiness seem too long or too wide. You try and try with no clear sign of any resolution. You have too many lanes pulling you this way and that way. So why not focus on the construction, the detours? Because it is killing our soul.
I find that when I am upset at work, I seem to be negative towards everyone that I come in contact with, usually for no reason at all. Eyes are rolled, curse words become more prevalent, and somehow my fingers are 100 pounds heavier on the keyboard. By the time I punch out, I am just emotionally and physically exhausted.
However, there is one thing that relinquishes my hope of overall happiness; a good story. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely hate to read. I am simply saying any story with a great ending; a television show, a movie, a song. Everyone always says, "things don't happen like they do in the movies" but what if they do? What if the only thing keeping us from having that extraordinary story ourselves is the inability to allow it to happen? If we continue to focus on the negative things, how will we be able to see the positive ones? "The glass is stained with pain and suffering, you can choose to stare at the stain or the beauty at what lies beyond." I can never seem to get enough of that quote, yet I have a hard time following it.
So here is to looking forward. Pausing at times of frustration to limit negative behavior. Here is to change, because as a great woman once said, "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles." (Just have to love Audrey Hepburn).

soul searching

We meet again blog world. It has been quite some time now since I have written anything. I like to say it was writer's block; makes me feel more official.
The past year has been a little bit of a whirlwind. Packed up my entire life and drove across the country to LA only to turn around and come back to Indiana after a day. Made new friends when I returned. Wasn't so much of a hermit anymore. Met new guys and went on dates. Changed my position at work. All in all, I was almost a completely different person.
At the time, everything seemed to be great. I loved always having plans. There was always someone to turn to if I had any issues. However, I realized after a few months that it was spinning out of control. An abundance of money was spent on alcohol, new clothes, etc. Every weekend and sometimes during the week, nights were planned with friends or family; no catch up time. I was wearing myself thin. My cursing was worse than it had been before, which is hard to comprehend. Somehow what used to be important just wasn't as important anymore.
It took one bad choice to really make me stop and reevaluate the direction that my life was heading.Whenever I need some guidance, I pull up my bible app and look at the verse of the day. "What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" Mark 8:36. What good is it for me to have great responsibility at work only to be constantly stressed? What good is it for me to have lots of friends only to stretch my wallet and well being in order to always hang out with them? What good is it to date all these different men only to feel worse after they seem to be all wrong? What good is it to always have plans only to lose sight of who I am and what I stand for?
Sometimes it takes getting off track, making mistakes to remember what it is that we truly want in life. What is truly important. Who we are and ultimately want to be. Now my focus is not on what my plans are next weekend. Nor on where the guy I have been looking for is. My focus is on bettering myself and preparing for whatever opportunities may lie ahead.